she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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