Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
