You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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