I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
