I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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