no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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