I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
