last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
