You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
