Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
