Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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