i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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