wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize