i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
