ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
