When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
if only i could text you this smell
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
