why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
