Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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