I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
