bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
These tits shall not be calmed
try to milk me bitch
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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