just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
