The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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