i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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