Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
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She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
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Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize