fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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