people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize