I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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