I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
