Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
