"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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