I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
