Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
