when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize