I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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