You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
