Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
