the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
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I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
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After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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