Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Less talking, more tequila
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
