I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
