If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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