just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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