I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
