Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
