Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
