16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
