butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
