He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
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Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
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She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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