I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize