just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I supernannyed him into submission
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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