JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
smell my finger.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Who died my cat blue again?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
