careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
