We're facebook friends in real life
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
