Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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