sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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