She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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