I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
