This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
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I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
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I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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