why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
