So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
