I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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