Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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