pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
