my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The best revenge is premature balding
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
